"Musician" take 2

Musician
A friend once mentioned to me that some instruments could be sexy.
I was skeptical
“Come on, imagine –
That saxophonist: savage, encircled by a senseless storm of music - sharp, simmering, suffocating - sliding his fingers as the sax sings - sliding, stopping, sliding – a salve, a sanctuary in which to lose the self, somewhere, the sound shooting down your spine, and it feels like he’s playing you as you sit there stiff, spellbound, shattered, surrendered, and safe.”
“Sounds surreal”
I was skeptical
Not anymore
I saw the first person I’d describe as Powerful,
There was this bass guitarist at a concert
And she wasn’t loud, or big, or strong, but
She radiated energy
She dominated the room
Everything about her defied the world.
She didn’t play the guitar
She struck it and slid her hand up the neck
She sang music, not words; sounds, not ideas and shook you physically
It didn't matter that you didn’t understand her lyrics
Because your body understood
Freedom
Defiance
Pride
Self

I've done a little bit of playing around with "Musician" and thought I'd share. The changes are all in the second half. I tried to simplify what I had, convey more, and work on balancing the first and second halves.