#184
When I think about strong, inspiring people in my own life
Marked not only by their accomplishments but by the way they live
Woman after woman comes to mind
Strange role models for a young man, but role models nonetheless
Not in the role of “man” or “woman,” but “human.”
More perfect people.
Perhaps it is ability that develops through need and practice
As I believe many abilities are
Or perhaps it is because men are missing
The last fourth of that 46th chromosome,
The last leg of an X, and are thus
Destined to be 183/184ths of a human being
I search for exemplary footsteps to follow and sometimes recoil
I find myself repulsed by men who hoard power
Disappointed by men who think only of themselves
Ultimately, we are all human, we are all connected, but there are too many people who have never outgrown the childhood notion that the world revolves around them
It’s easy to stay a child when you never feel your frailty
It is so very easy and yet we must not fall down that well
I admire empathy, understanding, and thoughtfulness
And yet sometimes I despair that they reside primarily in that last 184th of our DNA
Precious treasures unlocked by dual knowledge - of our vulnerability, and of the necessity to continue, somehow, because there is no other option
don't @ me
9 years ago
does the removal of the last sentence mean you no longer want thoughts?
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate thoughts. I just decided to let the poem stand on its own.
ReplyDeletePreface to preface - max characters is apparently 4096, I am at 4884 according to word, apologies for the multiple comments.
ReplyDeletealso - it's sort of funny to note that as I wrote, I apparently started agreeing with you more. It was sort of funny to realize. is funny. idk. it is two am, haha.
Preface: This...was originally going to be a different sort of comment, I think. But then I started typing. A lot. & now, minus this preface, you have a 900 word comment (c&p'd in word for curiosity's sake...technically 902), [if it doesn't cut it off.] So...sorry for the mini-novel.
I disagree with this in part, kind of. As a poem, I like it. It’s making me think, quite a lot. But I don’t think that empathy, understanding, and thoughtfulness reside primarily in the last 184th of our DNA. And, I mean, hey, maybe I’m not removed enough from that 184th to be a good judge, but at the same time, maybe that’s the point, maybe that’s what lets me judge. I feel like men, guys, whatever, aren’t necessarily able to express said characteristics publicly or as with as much frequency as women, but I don’t think that means they have them less. Well. To be fair, I’m a little biased, because I’m not friends with a super large number of guys, but of my close guy friends, I think they’re just as empathetic and thoughtful as my girl friends, but they’re more reserved, more subtle about it. It’s about observing the subtleties, seeing the small things. And with guys, it seems to factor a lot more on the setting and context than with women, for reasons that I have yet to fully understand (and I’m not about to go on a society/gender norm rant here, but I definitely do think that factors in.)
Also, you say ‘people’ in the line about never growing out of the idea the world revolves around oneself. I like that. Because it’s men, but it’s not, and it’s everyone, too, and there’s something lovely and connected about that, in the sense that it’s tipping the scales by implication but holding the balance in reality. And re “never feel your frailty”, it seems like you’re implying women feel frailty more than men (if you’re not, sorrrrry, but for the sake of the next few sentences, let’s go with the idea that you are), and while I don’t disagree with that in some ways, I feel like it maybe misses something about men. And, clearly, this is from a female perspective, so you might think I’m totally off base, but – I feel like maybe the problem (re lacking empathy, etc) is more that men feel their frailty early, with that whole ‘guys don’t cry, since you’re crying you’re weak’ type deal, and it seems to me like it’s precisely that experience of frailty that makes some shut off the understanding, the empathy, and act like they don’t give a fuck about anything in public. Because it’s ‘weak’.
Annnnd one final thing – the last line and ‘duel knowledge’. At first glance (and more than one subsequent read), I figured that duel was referring to the things that follow after the -, but the more I read it, the more I wondered if duel wasn’t a play on the X thing, which maybe should have been my first thought, I don’t know, but it wasn’t. And if it is, I love that, I absolutely love it, because it could go either way (and, really, how with Y, if you double the bottom part of the fork, so to speak, and move it around a little bit it makes an X, so it’s almost the duel knowledge of men, as well, taking what they have and doubling it in a strange, unconventional way - and maybe that's what allows women to show it, so maybe you're right, maybe you are), and there’s something lovely in that, something thought-provoking and complex in just that one little word, that one possible implication that has so many others.
But do you really think that most guys don’t think about vulnerability and the necessity to continue on? Maybe I should be friends with some of them. I don’t know. I feel like the idea that there is no other option is just such an intrinsic, innate thing, but maybe that’s precisely your point. I wish I could read this through the eyes of a guy, if only for that reason. But I guess that sort of is the point, it’s that that’s how women see things, or at least some do, and at least on a stereotypical basis, guys would think that there was no point in thinking about things like that, or if they do, it’s not a public thing.
ReplyDeleteBecause there is no other option. I haven’t read your mechanistic universe views recently, so I can’t remember if you apply them to people or just sort of like, worldly things, but on the idea of there being no other option, what if it’s simply that, at this moment in time, this is the way things have to be? That they have to be this way, with the majority of men publicly lacking empathy, etc, just so things can change in the future, so people can see how things should be, what’s missing, what’s needed. And that maybe it’ll be thoughts like this, spread out by numerous people over periods of time, that’ll prompt more thinking and more questioning, that’ll lead to change and different perspectives, different ideas of what’s appropriate.
And we do need to continue on, and we do, and there is no other option, but at the same time, we choose how we continue on, how we survive and move forward, and maybe the problem is that the majority of people don’t understand that it isn’t necessary to accept the status quo.
I don't know. The main point of this incredibly long comment is that this made me think, a lot, and I'm sort of a fan.
(PS, final note, i started writing this at 1am, so...if there are parts where it's not super coherent, apologies. :))